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Tag: #thoughts

2018

A new year. Most people imagine a whole new reinvented version of themselves. Not me. I’m interested in furthering what I’ve already started. A clean slate isn’t what I’m looking […]

I Don’t Have Anything To Say

I’ve sat at my computer to type a few words only to delete them almost as quickly as they appeared. I’m suprised that these words have made it. The problem […]

Fitness

Over the last three years, I’ve tried to ‘get fit’ – I had a burst of loving running for a month or so, 4km every day on the treadmill, I […]

TESTOSTERONE

Finally, as of Friday 7th July 2017, I am no longer pre-T. I cannot describe to you the relief I felt from finally, after over 2 years of battling through […]

Late Night Thoughts

Being able to write is liberating, even if no one reads the words, that’s not what matters. What matters is I declutter everything that I have trouble with, I think […]

I Feel Tortured

I always thought that the more I was used to transitioning, the methods, the life, it would become easier. Instead, I feel tortured, there is a constant pulse in the […]

Was I Meant To Happen?

Quite a lot of people will ask themselves this at least once in their lifetimes. I find myself asking the question more frequently, it creeps up on me when I’m […]

Their Hell Is Inside Them

“Their hell is inside them.” (Teresa de Lauretis) I was reading another scholarly article for a seminar I have this week, and on reading those words, I stopped dead in my […]

Can’t Shake This

No matter what I do I can’t seem to shake this, this feeling of nothingness. I feel like nothing, like I’m just existing. I sit in work imagining what it […]

An Urge To Say Goodbye

Since being at university, living independently, trying to work hard, I haven’t had much time to post on here. In some ways, I’m glad, there was a point in my […]

Step 2 – Ok For Hormones

This is the moment I have been waiting for the last 18 months – the go ahead for my hormone treatment. For 7 months I waited for my appointment with […]

A Splash Of Paint

While working numerous shifts at ASDA, I have come across a lot of students doing their university shop, all of which have expressed to me how stressed they are. This […]

The Blank Page I Need

It seems like a lifetime ago I was trying to calm down my nervous girlfriend as we headed off to collect our A Level results. Turns out there was nothing […]

A Step Forward

29th January 2016 – the date of my diagnosis. I haven’t had any medical progress in my transition for nearly 7 months, until I finally got a letter detailing my […]

Stuck On Pause

My transition has slowed to a pause, it feels like a waiting game that never seems to end. I approached my GP with a document stating she could prescribe testosterone […]