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Category: FTM Transition

Was I Meant To Happen?

Quite a lot of people will ask themselves this at least once in their lifetimes. I find myself asking the question more frequently, it creeps up on me when I’m […]

Step 3 – Bloods

01/02/2017 – My appointment with the endocrinology department. This was the appointment that I had been waiting for, for over a year now. It’s been a long wait, but when […]

My First Hand Experience With Hate

You hear stories of people being confronted by hateful people, because of their gender, sexuality or race. Reading and hearing about these occurrences always made me emotional; either angry or […]

Accepting My Sister

Acceptance. It’s an important word. I know, because it’s what I’ve needed most over the past two or so years. When my brother originally told me that he thought that […]

1am

I wish I could hold her in my arms, nothing in the world being able to touch us. Not me feeling like I am constantly lacking something because of my […]

Weighing Up My Options

Being on a waiting list for testosterone has made me think even more about the future, about what I want, surgery wise. I had a dream last night, the doctors […]

Their Hell Is Inside Them

“Their hell is inside them.” (Teresa de Lauretis) I was reading another scholarly article for a seminar I have this week, and on reading those words, I stopped dead in my […]

Can’t Shake This

No matter what I do I can’t seem to shake this, this feeling of nothingness. I feel like nothing, like I’m just existing. I sit in work imagining what it […]

A Full Time Job

I try to write positive posts, try to focus on the good things. I don’t want sympathy, I write here because I have to. Although I haven’t had that feeling […]

An Urge To Say Goodbye

Since being at university, living independently, trying to work hard, I haven’t had much time to post on here. In some ways, I’m glad, there was a point in my […]

Step 2 – Ok For Hormones

This is the moment I have been waiting for the last 18 months – the go ahead for my hormone treatment. For 7 months I waited for my appointment with […]

Outed At Work

The title to this blog post explains the obvious. Originally, I wasn’t going to write this post, because a few months ago something like this would have crushed me. But […]

A Splash Of Paint

While working numerous shifts at ASDA, I have come across a lot of students doing their university shop, all of which have expressed to me how stressed they are. This […]

A Step Forward

29th January 2016 – the date of my diagnosis. I haven’t had any medical progress in my transition for nearly 7 months, until I finally got a letter detailing my […]

Stuck On Pause

My transition has slowed to a pause, it feels like a waiting game that never seems to end. I approached my GP with a document stating she could prescribe testosterone […]

Am I Enough?

Dysphoria. An umbrella word that covers a lot of feelings. Anxiety, restlessness, anger, sadness. I experience this regularly, some days I deal with it better than others. I go through stages, […]