Being His Son

I remember writing on this blog how I told my father that I was transgender, how scared I was to tell him, in fact, he was the hardest person to […]

Late Night Thoughts

Being able to write is liberating, even if no one reads the words, that’s not what matters. What matters is I declutter everything that I have trouble with, I think […]

A Letter To My Past Self

I don’t know what happened to you, it was as if you disappeared more and more every day and then you were suddenly gone. I still have your body but […]

I Feel Tortured

I always thought that the more I was used to transitioning, the methods, the life, it would become easier. Instead, I feel tortured, there is a constant pulse in the […]

Was I Meant To Happen?

Quite a lot of people will ask themselves this at least once in their lifetimes. I find myself asking the question more frequently, it creeps up on me when I’m […]

Step 3 – Bloods

01/02/2017 – My appointment with the endocrinology department. This was the appointment that I had been waiting for, for over a year now. It’s been a long wait, but when […]

My First Hand Experience With Hate

You hear stories of people being confronted by hateful people, because of their gender, sexuality or race. Reading and hearing about these occurrences always made me emotional; either angry or […]

Accepting My Sister

Acceptance. It’s an important word. I know, because it’s what I’ve needed most over the past two or so years. When my brother originally told me that he thought that […]

1am

I wish I could hold her in my arms, nothing in the world being able to touch us. Not me feeling like I am constantly lacking something because of my […]

Weighing Up My Options

Being on a waiting list for testosterone has made me think even more about the future, about what I want, surgery wise. I had a dream last night, the doctors […]

Reviewz @ The Picture Of Dorian Gray

Surprisingly, this is the first time I’ve read this Wilde classic, in fact, it’s my first Wilde novel. To give a quick summary, Dorian Gray is a young man who […]

Their Hell Is Inside Them

“Their hell is inside them.” (Teresa de Lauretis) I was reading another scholarly article for a seminar I have this week, and on reading those words, I stopped dead in my […]

Can’t Shake This

No matter what I do I can’t seem to shake this, this feeling of nothingness. I feel like nothing, like I’m just existing. I sit in work imagining what it […]

A Full Time Job

I try to write positive posts, try to focus on the good things. I don’t want sympathy, I write here because I have to. Although I haven’t had that feeling […]

An Urge To Say Goodbye

Since being at university, living independently, trying to work hard, I haven’t had much time to post on here. In some ways, I’m glad, there was a point in my […]

Step 2 – Ok For Hormones

This is the moment I have been waiting for the last 18 months – the go ahead for my hormone treatment. For 7 months I waited for my appointment with […]