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An Urge To Say Goodbye

Since being at university, living independently, trying to work hard, I haven’t had much time to post on here. In some ways, I’m glad, there was a point in my life when I had to write on here just to be able to get through the day. Now I look back at that point, and I can see how far I’ve come. It makes me proud, to think that I got here, as Nathan, as me. 

I’ve reached my short term goal, to become myself, to get to university, I suppose that’s why there is an urge to leave this blog behind, to move onto something different. But I know that sometimes I will need to come back here and write, I know that where there is an urge to leave, there is also one to stay. This blog will never be deleted because I know in a few years, maybe when I have surgery or when testosterone has taken effect, that I will want to look back on these posts to see how far I’ve come, I already feel like I’ve taken some giant steps.

After Kai (a fellow blogger) took a step down from his blog, it inspired me to do the same. But I like to think myself a writer and I haven’t quite got the heart to let this go. I had a scare earlier that my flatmates would find this blog, I’m keeping the fact that I am transgender private, it wasn’t too long ago I didn’t even like saying the word out loud. I thought about deleting it for that reason, but I don’t regret anything I have written here, so I will keep it where it is, if they find it (which although I hope doesn’t happen) then I will deal with that. Although I often hide this part of myself from people, I won’t let myself be ashamed of it, because for a long time I was, a part of me still is on harder days, but I know that isn’t healthy. I know that isn’t fair on me, or other transgender people.

I’m here to stay.

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4 Comments »

  1. If you bugger off we’ll miss out on the good stuff to come. Some of us don’t know you and will never meet you, but still want to support you. That’s why I follow this blog. xx

    Liked by 1 person

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