Tomorrow is a big day but right now it doesn’t feel like it, I’m just trying not to make a big deal about it. I mean, really all I’m doing is uncovering who I already am, after years of hiding it.
I don’t actually know how I feel – Nervous? Exited? Probably a mix of the two. Going to the solicitors for anything is nerve racking for me, the stuffy offices and over charging professionals make me uneasy. Going there to change my name, to finally be able to live by Nathan will make a big difference to my entire life. Every step I’ve been taking these last few weeks have felt like the beginning of my new life – I should say, the beginning of my actual life.
So maybe I shouldn’t be nervous, I should immerse myself in this step entirely. When I was in the waiting room for my hospital appointment so I could be diagnosed with gender dysphoria I didn’t feel like myself at all, I knew that I had to sort myself out before I went in, because otherwise I may have not gotten what I needed. I have to do the same thing tomorrow.
I will probably write a post about this after my appointment, but I felt like I needed to write something down, even if it is just a few words.
How do I feel? I feel ready.